


From A Distance

by Storygal



Category: Supergirl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21882325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storygal/pseuds/Storygal
Summary: Kara is determined that Alex will no longer put her dreams on hold because of her, but letting go of Alex proves to be a far greater challenge than she expects.  This story takes place during the mind wipe, immediately after the events in the Menagerie episode (Episode 4x12).It’s not absolutely necessary to have seen this episode before reading this fic, but watching the episode first will provide a good bit of background.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Kara Danvers
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72
Collections: Secret Kalex Santa 2019





	1. Silent Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThegHostofYourHeaRt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThegHostofYourHeaRt/gifts).



Kara hovered in the night sky, high above the city.After all the chaos with Menagerie earlier that evening, Kara was greatly relieved that the rest of National City’s criminals had seemingly chosen to take the night off.

Alex had only stayed at Kara’s loft about half an hour after she’d come by with the Valentine’s Day candy bouquet.She talked about being tired after the long day she’d had, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and promising to call Becca before heading to the DEO in the morning.Kara smiled as she remembered that Alex had only eaten one heart and left the rest of the candy on her coffee table.

It warmed Kara’s heart to know Alex hadn’t forgotten everything about her.

Especially since there was only one sound she wanted to focus on now.

Alex’s heartbeat was coming in strong and steady, quite a bit calmer from when she was at the Valentine’s Day ball trying to contain the chaos.Kara had been listening to it while she was on the balcony of the hotel after she and Nia had taken down the symbiotes.

When Nia mentioned it was too bad she couldn’t join Alex below, she’d come so close to losing it.But of course there was no way Nia could have known what a blow her words had been.The novice superhero was just trying to comfort her.She had no idea that Alex was so much more than a sister to her.

And she couldn’t break down in front of Nia.Nia had just lost her mother, for Rao’s sake.And now Nia had chosen to dive headfirst into the hero’s life.Kara knew she had no right to burden her young protégée with her problems, which were so trivial by comparison.

Kara cocked her head as she realized Alex’s heartbeat was slowing down.Alex must be in bed, settling down for sleep.Or maybe she was on her couch, watching a movie to unwind before going to bed.

Maybe I should take a quick peek inside her apartment, just to make sure she’s okay...

Alex really had had a long day.And a very dangerous one.Kara had been so scared when the symbiote creature attacked Alex.She’d never know how she’d found the strength and will to stay rooted to her spot instead of rushing to Alex's side.Thank Rao she was able to surreptitiously blow those ugly beasts away with a well placed “sneeze”.And J’onn was able to take that jewel thief and her alien companions outside before anything else could happen.

Kara began to feel a cold rage seeping into her.This was all Haley’s fault.If that crazy bitch wasn’t so damned persistent, she and Alex would still be “partners in crime”.They’d still be together...

Whoa, wait a minute!She and Alex weren’t a couple...were they?So why was she referring to herself and Alex as one?

Maybe because it was Valentine’s Day.All the talk about love and candy and parties.And J’onn...all his talk about matchmaking!What in the name of Krypton had gotten into him?

Ba bum, ba bum, ba bum...

Alex’s heartbeat continued its steady rhythm.Normally Kara took great comfort in it, but tonight it was only a reminder of what she’d lost.

What she’d given up. _Who_ she’d given up.

But she'd had to make that choice for Alex.She knew Alex better than anyone.Better than Eliza.Better than J’onn.Even better than Alex herself. 

Kara still felt an almost overwhelming sadness every time her mind flashed back to Alex sobbing in her arms as she told her she couldn’t stay with Maggie.Kara’s heart broke in that moment.She’d vowed to Rao later that night she would do whatever it took to make Alex happy.She would do whatever it took to keep Alex from falling into that place of despair ever again.

If it meant that she and Alex could never work together again, so be it.Besides, she was strong.As she’d told Alex earlier that day, she was tougher than she looked.She had to be.For Alex.For the whole world.

Ba bum, Ba bum, ba bum...

She’d never forget the fear and desperation in Alex’s eyes when she thought Kara had been hurt.Sure, she’d seen that look hundreds of times, but this time it was different.For the first time Alex’s feelings were raw and completely on display.For the first time Kara saw just how much Alex had paid because of her powers.How much Alex had sacrificed for her.

How could she continue to let Alex pay for her being Supergirl?How could she justify being so selfish?

Ba...bum, Ba...bum, Ba...bum...

The answer was obvious. She couldn’t. 

Alex’s heartbeat had slowed down considerably now.It sounded like Alex was about to drop off.Kara smiled at the thought.Her sister was finally winding down for the night.She deserved a good night’s rest.And so much more.

She deserved to have a baby.A partner.Everything.

Tracking down Becca for her phone number had been a lot more painful than Kara cared to admit.It’d also taken some convincing to get Becca to give out her number.She’d appealed to the innate compassion Becca seemed to have by telling her Alex was so duty bound that she always put her work and helping others before her personal life.And that wasn’t a lie.Alex had put her entire personal life on hold to take care of her for over a decade.

Kara had felt a weird mixture of relief and trepidation had when Becca smiled and quickly scribbled her number on the slip of paper Kara just happened to have handy.Actually, Kara had torn a blank page out of the small notepad she used for her reporting duties.Alex still needed a little push to get back on the path of her dreams again. 

She was proud of the matchmaking she’d done.She knew she’d done the right thing by putting Alex’s needs ahead of her own. 

Then why did she feel so sad?

Kara could now hear light snoring from Alex mixed in with her heartbeat.She wondered if Alex’s mouth was slightly open this time as it often was when she was in a deep sleep.Sometimes Alex even drooled, but pity the person stupid enough to tell Alex about it.She’d learned the hard way that once was more than enough.

A cool gust of wind buffeted her from behind. Because of her invulnerability Kara often forgot that even in National City February weather could be pretty cool, especially at night.Given how tired Alex had been she might have fallen asleep in front of her TV or even in her bed without adequate cover.

I think I will do a quick fly-by and check on Alex.Just to make sure she's nice and warm. She'll never even know I was there.

The decision made, Kara made one last sweep of the city with her super vision and hearing.Satisfied that National City could get along without her for a few hours, she turned herself around in midair and super-sped to Alex's apartment as fast as she could without creating a sonic boom.


	2. Too Close For Comfort

Scant seconds later Kara touched down on Alex's balcony, a sudden bout of anxiety taking over her mind.

_ Breathe, Kara, breathe.You've stood in this spot lots of times before.Besides, you're just going to make sure Alex is covered up.It's not like you're going to stay or anything.Piece of cake. _

Kara cautiously stepped forward and gently leaned into the balcony's large window to peer into the empty living room.An x-ray scan confirmed Alex was in bed.

Alex was curled up on her side, her duvet pooled around her knees.No drooling this time.Instead, her thumb loosely hung in her mouth.Her breathing remained quiet and even.

Kara had always loved watching Alex sleep.Alex had a much softer look during sleep, seemingly free from all the tension she often carried, both in and out of the DEO.She looked so...content.Even happy. 

If only Alex could hold onto this happiness in her waking life.

Just then Alex began to fidget in her sleep, one hand pulling at a corner of the duvet as it slid down near her ankle.Kara's super vision revealed tiny goosebumps forming on Alex's exposed arms.

Kara backed a couple of inches away from the window, debating with herself whether or not to enter the apartment.After all, she'd checked on Alex, who was sleeping soundly and obviously in no danger.

_ But she's uncomfortable, a little voice in her head countered.Surely you can go in for just a few minutes.Besides, you know you can keep her warm way better than that old blanket. _

Kara found herself nodding in agreement, not caring at all that she was hearing voices. Pulling a hairpin from her belt, she made quick work of the window’s lock.She'd definitely have to thank Lois one of these days...

She wasted no time zipping into the bedroom.For a moment she stood at the foot of Alex's bed, watching the rise and fall of the older woman's chest.Good.No worries about Alex waking up suddenly.

Kara stripped off her suit, letting it fall softly to the floor at her feet.Choosing to leave on her bra and panties, she carefully slid into the bed and spooned behind Alex, tucking her beloved’s head under her chin.

Ahh...now Kara could feel Alex's heartbeat thrumming against her own chest.Kara closed her eyes, a barely audible sigh escaping her lips.She so needed this.If only J'onn could wipe the events of the past couple of weeks from her mind...  
  


_ “I'll still be your sister.I just won't remember you're Supergirl.” _

_ “Who am I without  _ you?”

_ “You are literally described as the Girl of Steel.On the outside, and the in.” _

Tears sprang unbidden to Kara's eyes as the painful scenes invaded her memories, quickly turning into quiet sobs.Kara knew she needed to make a fast exit before Alex woke up.She was starting to extricate herself from Alex when she felt a warm hand on her arm.

“' Hmm...don't cry...’s’okay...ever’thing will be all right...”

Kara tightened her hold on Alex, even though every her instinct was screaming at her to get the hell out.She was drowning and she wasn't about to refuse the lifeline Alex was offering her, aware or not.She continued sobbing into Alex's hair, thanking Rao her beloved was still asleep.

As Kara's crying subsided, Alex's fingers accidentally brushed against her center, setting off a chain reaction of sensations that pushed out her sadness.Kara very nearly bit off a piece of her tongue to keep from moaning out loud.

Kara leaned over Alex, kissing her full on the lips.She was about to grind into Alex's nether cheeks when a loud inner voice barked at her to stop before she crossed a line she couldn't come back from.

_ Are you fucking crazy?!Alex is asleep!Besides, the two of you aren't “together”!  _

Sitting bolt upright, Kara roughly ran a hand through her hair.What had she done?

Floating away from Alex, Kara was back in her suit a couple of seconds later. She didn't know what had just gotten into her, but for Alex's sake she had to get control of herself.She quickly flew out of the bedroom and then back out into the night sky, cursing the fact that no one seemed to need Supergirl tonight.

*****

Kara practically flew to J'onn’s headquarters the next morning, desperate for advice on how to handle Alex going forward.Bursting through the front door, Kara barely managed to put her glasses on before Alex turned around to see who had come in.

“Alex!What are you doing here?!”

Alex frowned.“I was about to ask you the same thing.Well, since you're here, I might as well tell you too.”

Kara raised an eyebrow.“Tell me what?”

Alex sighed.“I had a really crazy dream about you last night.Actually, about you and Supergirl.I was hoping J'onn could help me understand what it means.”

Kara swallowed hard, but nodded quickly, giving Alex permission to continue.

“I dreamed Supergirl came into my apartment.She never said anything; she just kept staring at me. The next thing I remember you were in my bed, holding me.It's like Supergirl turned into you.Yeah, I know—weird!”

Kara laughed a little too loudly.“Yeah, dreams can be really crazy like that!”

Alex frowned, looking at her watch.“Damn it, I'm late for a meeting with Colonel Haley.J'onn, how about we finish this tomorrow?”

J'onn smiled warmly.“Sure, Alex.I'll be here.”

Alex went over to Kara, giving her sister a quick peck on the cheek.“How about a sisters night?I'll put in the order before I leave the DEO.”

A sad smile crept onto Kara's face.“Sure, that sounds good.”

Alex turned and hurried out without acknowledging Kara's response.The roar of her motorcycle speeding away filled the room a moment later.

J'onn placed his hand on Kara's shoulder.“Are you going to be all right?”

Kara looked past J'onn in the direction Alex had gone.“I don't know.”

J'onn squeezed Kara's shoulder lightly, then went into another part of the office, sensing her need for privacy.

Kara had no idea if she would ever be all right, but she knew she had to be there for Alex, just like Alex had been there for her all these years. 

Even if it forever meant loving Alex from a distance.


End file.
